Forbidden Memories - Part 4

(Part – 4)

After that incident, they started talking to each other when ever meet in college. But nothing exciting happened in their life until one day.

As in 1st year some of the subjects were common so to utilize the lecture time College management decided to have common class of Mathematics for Botany and Economics students.

Listening to this, Kshitij was very happy as he would be able to meet Sahana more often.

First day of class, all of the students made their own groups to settle down but Kshitij was waiting for some one to come (may be he had some plans)

“Hey Kshitij, what are you doing at the entrance, come have a seat, we all are sitting together”, One of his friend said.

“Yaa, I just come in few minutes, not feeling like sitting right now”, Kshitij replied.

As he finished his sentence what he saw was Sahana coming towards the class room. His heart started beating faster, as she came close he wanted to say something but before he could say any word,

“Hi Kshitij, how are you? Waiting for some one?”, Sahana enquired.

“Naa, Naa, just not feel like sitting”, He replied.

“Same here yaar, I don’t want to attend this class, it’s so boring”, Sahana said.

“So don’t attend naa, you can go to canteen or library”, Kshitij replied.

“Yaa, and what will I do there alone, all of my friends are here attending this boring class”, she said questioningly.

“Huummmm, what if you have a company in canteen, I means…………I can …..means if you want…… I can give you a company….. if……if you want”, Kshitij said nervously.

“Oh! Well……….(she keep silent for some time, may be she wanted to see Kshitij’s face reaction to his silence)……..Well that will be nice of you, but I think you should not buck class just to give company to me”, Sahana said laughingly.

“Naa, Naa, even I am not feeling like attending the class”, Kshitij said hurriedly as if he didn’t wanted to miss the opportunity to be with her.

“Ok, but today’s Coffee will be from my side, if you agree then fine”, Sahana said in a charming voice.

Listening to this Kshitij thought in his my mind,“Oh! Yoooo…….she is not like other girls who just be with boys so that they can have someone to pay bill for them, she is so sweet, Oh God! She is so beautiful”

And they went to canteen, had chat for about an hour, shared their interests, likes and dislikes, and to the utmost surprise they had lot in common, may it be movies, songs or food. And with each second of conversation Kshitij was getting more and more impressed by her. Infact, he was enjoying that feeling of being with her and with that unknowingly his liking for her was getting more intense.

After that day, Kshitij started looking for ways to impress her, to sit next to her, to talk to her. And to some extent even Sahana started giving him response.

They started sitting together in class, as Sahana was not good in Maths and Kshitij being expert in Maths, he use to help her in solving problems.

They became good friends but Kshitij noticed that some times Sahana use to act very weirdly with him whenever she sees that people are watching them. And it was something which always troubled him internally.

But he had no time to think about it. As he was right now only thinking about how to impress her, how to get close to her, only thing he was thinking about was what can he do to please her.

He would not have understood that his feeling are not just a mere concern or affection for Sahana but he is truly, deeply, entirely in love with her, if that incident would not have happened…………..

निशा नही रहता ....

मंजिलो की किसे है परवाह,
कोई कारवा सदा नही रहता ।

ख्वैशो से क्या करे तमन्ना ,
अरमानो की कोई इन्तेहा नही होती ।

बदलते है रिश्ते हर मोड़ पर,
और कोई रास्ता हमेशा नही रहता ।

क्यो रोते हो देख कर पैरो के चाले,
किसी घाव का निशा सदा नही रहता ।

हर पल करवट लेती है कुदरत,
एक वक्त के बाद इंसान का भी निशा नही रहता ।

एक तू और एक तेरी ज़रूरत ...

एक साया और एक चेहरा,
एक सपना और एक हकीक़त,
एक एहसास और एक शरारत,
एक आदत और एक ज़रूरत,
एक तू और एक तेरी मुस्कराहट ।

It took me years

It took me years to realize,
What I want in life

It took me lot of tears to realize,
What is happiness of life

It took me lot of courage to evaluate,
What I have till now achieved in life

It took me lot of patience to realize,
It is me who is responsible for what I am and what I want to be in life.

इबादत ...

क्यो हर रिश्ता दुनिया की नज़रो में पाक नही होता,
इबादत को भी लोग दे देते है नाम गुनाह का,
क्या इंसान का खुदा से कोई रिश्ता नही होता ।

दिल के रिश्ते .....

नही समझता यहाँ कोई दिल के रिश्तो को,
यहाँ सिर्फ़ रिश्तो की नुमाइश होती है,
लगती है हर जज़्बात की बोली,
जिसकी कीमत सिर्फ़ आसुयो से अदा होती है ।

Some People.....

Some people got so much busy with their work,
They don't even remember they have left some work undone behind,

Some people got so much engaged with their life,
They forget that they have left some relations behind,

Some people, Some people, Some people,
Some times even your Loved Ones become Some People.

(For all those people in my Life who are my Loved Ones but for then I have become Someone)

एक चेहरा ......

किसका नाम खामोशी में सुनाई देता है,

किसका चेहरा सपनो में देखाई देता है,
ढूढ़ते है हर महफिल में उस चेहरे को,
पर हर चेहरे के पीचे एक झूठा चेहरा देखाई देता है,
वो ख्वाबो का चेहरा बस एक खवाइश ही बना रहता है।

ख्वाब ,,,

हमने अपनी एक छोटी सी दुनिया बना रखी है,

जो कुछ ख्वाबो से सजा रखी है,
उन ख्वाबो को जीने की कोशिश करते है,
उन खावाशियो को पुरा करने की कोशिश करते है,
देखते है जिसका चेहरा ख्वाबो में,
हकीक़त में पाने की कोशिश करते है,
चलते है खावाशियो को हथेली पर ले कर,
न फिसल जाए हाथो से कभी, हर कदम रखने से डरते है।

Love Life & Reality

Once Life asked me - "Whom will you Love - Someone whom you admire or one who admires you?",

I replied - "I will Love a person who admires me the way I am."

Then Life advised me - "Then be what you are and not get changed in the desire to be admired."

But may be while telling this Life forgot it's own made rule,

Anything which resist to change, are always broken apart.

Love you the way you are

Trust no one but trust yourself,

Believe no one but believe yourself,
Laugh for no one but laugh for yourself,
Live for no one but live for yourself,

But if at any point of life,
You find no reason to live for yourself
then just think of someone,

Who lives to see you happy,
Who lives to see you laugh,
Who lives to feel your breadth,

If you don't find anyone like that,
then just think of me,
because I love you the way you are.

Listen to your heart

In life everyone come across a turn where one has to choose one path of many to follow.
That time always listen to your heart.
May be the path you follow be wrong but you will never regret of ignoring your heart voice.
And that feeling will give you more satisfaction then what you get even being succeed ignoring your inner voice.

Life is to believe in yourself

Life is meant to be lived the way you see it,
It might happen that your perception may not be liked by others,
But if you believe in yourself and your vision,
then you will see others changing their vision as per yours.

That is Life - To Believe in yourself

Love and Trust

Love and Trust are like two sides of a coin,

When you think you are winning on one side,
Actually other side makes you loose.

Forbidden Memories - Part 3

(Part – 3)

After that incident when ever they saw each other, always passed a smile. It continued for many days.

Kshitij was getting use to have her glimpse. But suddenly everything changes, Kshitij use to wait to just see her once but she didn’t came to college for 10 days. He started getting worried for her.

“Why is she not coming to college since 10 days? Is she alright?”
“But why I am thinking about her? We never talked after that day then why am I missing her”
“Oh God! What is this happening to me? Why I am thinking about her?” – and many other questions were pounding in his mind.

He could not sleep for all those nights (But this time he was not crying, for the first time his parents yelling was not torturing him)
The only thing he was thinking about was ‘Sahana’.

Every morning his only wish was to see her, but why did he want to see her was the question he was not able to answer?.

And at last the day arrived he was waiting for more than anything. He saw Sahana standing on the fee deposit window alone.

This was the first time he saw her closely, this was the first time he wanted to know why he missed her so much, this was the first time he wanted to know her.

5’3” in height, fair, wearing yellow colour salwaar kameez. Her eyes were speaking volumes. So innocent, so simple, and so complete. Storm was playing with her hairs, and she trying to remove it from her face but still some hairs were still touching her lips.

Kshitij was trying more to find out why he was missing her than to appreciate her beauty. And in that effort each time he found her more beautiful then earlier.

With so many thoughts pounding in his mind before he could realize where he is heading toward, he was in front of Sahana and words came out of his mouth,

“Where were you since last 10 days? Is everything Ok? You should have informed somebody in college”, he said all in a single breath.

“What?”, this was all Sahana could say after hearing this.

“Oh! Nothing, I was just wondering where were you these days”, Kshitij realized may be he over reacted.

“Achcha, so somebody was missing me”, Sahana replied with an intention of teasing him.

“No, No nothing like that just didn't saw you in college since so many days so just wanted to know if everything is ok on your side”, Kshitij tried to explain.

“Hahahahahahahahaha”, She laughed.

“Yaa Yaa, I know what you meant”, Again she said naughtily.

Listening to her answer all Kshitij could do was pass away the smile but anybody could have noticed that actually he was blushing and definitely Sahana noticed it, for sure.

“Hey, that day I was to ask you name but you left before I could say anything? So, are you going to tell your name today or should I stop coming to college for another 10 days then may be you tell me, hahahahahahahaah”, Sahana said.

“No, No you don’t have to do that, My name is Kshitij”, he quickly replied as if he didn’t wanted it to be true what Sahana said.

“Achcha Kshitij, chalo see you later, leaving now getting late for class”, Sahana said.

And she left before Kshitij could say anything and in that conversation he forgot to ask why she didn’t came to college these days. (Answer to that question might have saved Kshitij from entering a black hole*, but may be fate didn’t wanted him to know it so early)

*Black Hole - A region of space resulting from an extremely high gravitational field which absorbs what ever comes near to it and it itself black in colour. It is also described as a hole full of negativity which absorb all positive energy near by and convert it into negative energy

And after that incident everything changed in Kshitij’s life, he was no more a same Kshitij who use to feel dejected and alone. But now for the first time he started believing in dreams, for the first time he was happy for no reason (No reason because he was not able to understand what is happening to him)

But he was unaware of what this all will lead to, how this short span happiness will bring in endless span of wretchedness.

(To be Continued)

Forbidden Memories - Part 2

Forbidden Memories (Part – 2)

What he saw in the packet was a Belt he desired for.

Then he recalled how eagerly he was watching that belt when he went to the market with his Mother some days back and might be she noticed it but thought to give him a surprise.

“Oh! Thank you Mom. You are the best. I really wanted it today”, he said in enthusiastic voice.

Now, he knew today God has decided something for him.

But he didn’t know that his life is no more going to remain same any more, may be he forgot every thing comes with a price tag and this time God is going to make him pay a lot more then he could have ever expected.

But it was too early for him to realize this, what all he knew was that today he will enjoy the day with a hope that it will not be same as usual day.

As he reached college, all of his friend who were waiting for him get gathered around and started praising him for his dressing sense and shirt he was wearing. He was on cloud nine but was bit surprised how all of a sudden all of his friends are giving so much attention to him. Then he recalled that it may be the magical effect of the day (Infact, a very special day which he later wished would have never came in his life)

After receiving all the praise and chit-chat with all of his friends he went to class to attend the lecture. As he reached class, peon came and told them that the Prof. Shastri (his Economics teacher) will not be coming today to college so the lecture is free.
Listening to the announcement Kshitij decides to go down stairs to the canteen.

As he reached the parking side on the way to canteen, what he noticed was far someone with a kinetic, standing and talking to some boys. As he was on a way to canteen, suddenly something striked his mind and he decided to go and check out what is happening there.
As he reached near by what he saw was a girl from Botany Section (Whom he have met sometimes earlier too), he tried to recall her name.

“Oh! She is Sahana from Botany section”, he recalls in his mind.

He goes near to her and asks to boys around,“What happened guys?”

One among the crowd says,“Her bike is puncher and there is no mechanic around and the shop near by is also closed, so we are just waiting for her brother to come with a mechanic”

Kshitij enquires,“So, by what time will he be coming”

“Bhai is in office so will be able to come after 5:00 evening only”, Sahana says.

“Oh! So are you going to stay here for 3 hours after college like this only”, Kshitij enquires.

“Hey guys, why don’t you change the tyre with the spare one”, As Kshitij completed his sentence all of the boys around started looking at each other and Sahana very well understood the silence.

“Not needed guys, I will manage, any ways brother may come earlier so not a problem. You all might be getting late for classes. Chalo I will take care”, Sahana interepted.

Listening to this all smiled and went off that place.

“So are you going to staying here alone in college till so late”, Kshitij says.

“Yaa, I don’t have any other choice”, She says.

“Do you have screw driver in your bike?”, Kshitij enquires.

She replied,“Yaa, I have it, you need it?”

As she gives him the screw driver, he started changing the tyre. Seeing this Sahana with utmost surprise says,“Hey, no need to do it, I will mange. Thanks”

“Have I asked you anything? Just hold the bike when I bend it”, Kshitij replied in commanding voice.

Sahana surprised with his response just did what he instructed her. And after finishing with the tyre, before Sahana could say any thing he handed her screw driver and began to go towards the class.

All Sahana got to say at that time was, “Thanks ………..”. That time she realized that she didn’t even knew his name.
But before she could ask his name, Kshitij replied, “Anytime dear”

"“Anytime dear”, how come I called her “dear”" Kshitij thought, surprised with the words he just uttered to girl he merely know, in fact what all he knew was her name and the section name where she studies.

But this was not the last time they were supposed to meet, but much more was planned for him.

(To Be Continued......)

Kya Kabhi

Kya Kabhi Dekha Hai,
Sun Kar Khamoshi Ko,
Jee Kar Apne Sapno Ko,

Kya Kabhi Mahesus Kiya Hai,
Khushi Mein Dil Se Muskura Kar,
Dard Mein Baha Kar Aasono Ko,

Kya Kabhi Jiya Hai Bhula Kar Khud Ko,
Kya Kabhi…….........

Kya Kabhi……....

Kya Kabhi......

Dil Hi Dil Mein

Zubaan Se Kaha Nahi Kabhi,

Aakhon Se Hi Haale-e-Dil Bayan Karte Rahe,
Tha Tera Saath Aziz Itna,
Pyar Ko Dosti Ka Naam Batate Rahe,
Kiya Jo Aaj Dil Ka Haal Bayan To Jaana,
Humhari Tarah Tum Bhi Dil Hi Dil Mein Humhe Apna Khuda Banate Rahe.

Yeh Zindagi....

Raahe kabhi uljhi to kabhi suljhi lagti hai,
Manzile kabhi aasan to kabhi mushkil lagti hai,
Log kabhi phechaane to kabhi anjaane lagte hai,
Zindagi kabhi lambi to kabhi chooti lagti hai,
Yeh Zindagi,

Yeh Zindagi,

Yeh Zindagi,
Kabhi apni to kabhi paraayi lagti hai.

Rukhti Nahi Zindagi

Rukhti nahi Zindagi kissi ke rukh jaane se,
Badalti nahi Zindagi kissi ke badal jaane se,
Nahi jeeta koi kabhi Zindagi ko aazmaane se,
Isski chaal to nirantar hai, Issthir hai,
Zindagi jeeti jaati hai apni chaal se iski chaal milane se,
Har pal ko jeene se, Har gum mein muskurane se.

Door Ho Gaya....

Kya Mangu Zindagi Se,

Kuch Bhi To Nahi Hai Mera,

Kya Shikayat Karu Zindagi Se,

Sab Kasoor To Tha Mera,

Dhoondne Chala Tha Zindagi,

Zindagi Se Door Ho Gaya,

Nikal Gaya Manzil Ki Talaash Mein Aage Itna,

Ki Khud Se Door Ho Gaya,
Door Ho Gaya….

Dhagoon Ke Rishtye

Kuch Dhagoon Se Hoti Agar Rishtyo Ki Phechaan,
To Koi Dhaaga Kabhi Kamzoor Na Banta,
Kamzoor To Rishtye Hote Hai,
Aur Log ilzaam Resham Ko De Diya Karte Hai.

Hoshla Ho To

तूफानों के डर से हम रुकते नहीं किनारे पर,
साहिल में होसला हो तो,
कश्तिया तूफानों में भी अपनी मंजिल को पाती है

That's Life....

Life starts with Dream and ends at Destination,
Life is lived with Desires but is ruled by Destiny,

Dream

Destination

Desire

Destiny

That’s Life

Zindagi.....

Duniya ki kisse hai parwaha,
Hum to apno ke liye jeete hai,
Kya soche kal ki ey mere dost,
Har pal badalti hai Zindagi,
Aur hum har pal ko jeete hai.

ANUJ

When anybody asks me to describe myself,
I just Spell My Name

ANUJ
As each letter of my word describes me better then any of the adjective.

Pyar Ke Sang

Kuch Khawab,

Kuch Chahat,

Kuch Kushi,

Kuch Gum,

Kuch tum aur Kuch Hum,
Kuch Zindagi Beeti tanhaa,

Kuch beeta denge pyar ke sang.

Forbidden Memories - Part 1

Forbidden Memories

(Part - 1)

I got the Inspiration for this story from what I have seen around..... it's a fiction, it's a reality and it's about Irony of life...........N It's about Kshitij

This is a story of a 21 years old small town boy Kshitij, if women dream is to have a boy with 3 qualities - Tall, Dark & Handsome. Then definitely he posses one quality of being Dark. He was a normal heighted boy average in looks. He didn't had any thing which could make any girl turn her head for another look. But he was special in his own way. He was special in his words. He was different in his thoughts. And that is some thing which always made him center of attraction. Infact, many people use to dislike him for this, as he was popular figure among girls.

His friend were not able to make out why do girls like him inspite of him having such an average looks.

To all his friends Kshitij was full of life,an exuberent being, always having broad smile on his face, singing, dancing and spreading happiness all around. He never tried to hurt anybody to the best he can.

But deep inside, Kshitij was very different from what people thought of him. Being from a broken family, grown up watching his parents fighting for nothing (nothing because he could never justify any of the reasons worth fighting), it was a mere mutual decision of giving their only son Kshitij a bright future,that kept them together. Other than Surname and a son, they had nothing in common. His everyday counter watching his parents fighting and cursing each other on his name made him weak inside. He starting hating himself, blaming himself for all happenings. Weeping whole night till he fall asleep was his routine (May be that's why his pillow was always wet but ironically, nobody ever noticed it). But no body could ever notice tears hidden deep inside his eyes which were very much visible if any body would have delved deep but time have thought him to smile, to laugh, to look happy and to ACT. As was said - "World is a stage and we all are performer, born to act.", if we consider this true then definitely Kshitij was a Genius, a true performer.

The day started as usual morning alarm wake him up, but no, today he was feeling different then any other day. There was nothing special today but after a decade he could feel that his smile was not fake, and definitely this time he was not acting but he was genuinly feeling excited. Today he took more then usual to take bath and wore his favourite shirt. After starring and praising himself for mintues in front of mirror as decides to wear his pant.

"Oh God! What happen to my belt, how will I wear the pant today" Kshitij yelled looking at his broken belts buckle and again cursing his fate for this.

"Kshitij, Come down quickly have a breakfast, else you will get late for college" His mother shouts.

Feeling low as he reaches a dinning table, sitting there his eyes constantly starring at his loose pant and trying to put it on it's place, he notices one box wrapped in a glittering silver paper and to his utmost surpise it was his name on the box.
In excitement as he opens the box, what he saw just shocked him and he was not able to utter a single word. A tiny drop of tear struggling to fall down was clearly visible on his eye lid.......(To be Continued)

Kuch.....

Kuch Haqiqat ne,

Kuch Afsaano ne,

Kuch Apno ne,

Kuch Begaano ne,

Kuch Khushiyo ne,

Kuch Gamo ne,

Kuch sheek liya zindagi se,

Kuch Sheekha diya zamaane ne,

Kuch Khush rahana seekh liya humne,

Kuch Muskurana seekha diya Armaano ne

Bhula Naa Sake

Jise chaha shidaat se vo humhari shidaat samaj naa sake,
Pyar mein uske uljhe hum itna ki khud ko samjha naa sake,
Vo Befawa hai humhe malum tha, Par dil ko apne samjha naa sake,
Mohaabat mein sataya zaalim ne itna,
Roye hum bhi the par apne aanso kissi ko dekha naa sake,

Zindagi Ban Gaye

Khamoshiyo Mein Meri Zubaan Ban gaye,
Safar Ho Koi To Humraha Ban Gaye,
Dil Dhadke Kabhi To Dhadkan Ban Gaye,
Aanso Ho Yaa Ho Hansi Meri,
Ehsaas Ho Yaa Ho Jazbaat Mere,
Tum Mere Jeene Ki Vajaye Ban Gaye.

Dosti

Kaha Do To Bas Ek Labz,
Maano To Puri Kayanaat,
Socho To Bas Ek Ehasaas,
Samjho To Ek Vishwaas,
Har Rishte Se Judaa, Har Pal Mein Khaas,
Kuch Aisa Anokhaa Rishta Hai DOSTI,
Kabhi Zarurat To Kabhi Aadat Hai DOSTI

Forever Ever & Ever

Sometimes I Listen To What You Say In Words,
But You Know I Understand Your Silence Better

Sometimes I See What You Want To Show Me,
But You Know I Can Read Your Gesture Better

Sometimes I Speak What You Want To Hear,
But You Know My Eyes Speaks Better

Sometimes I Pretend To Ignore You,
Sometimes I Try To Be Away From You,
Sometimes I Want To Run Away From You,

But Do You Know Whenever I Do So, I Hate Myself More
And Ends Up Loving You More Then Ever, Ever and Ever

Har Pal

Duniya ki kisse hai parwaha,
Hum to apno ke liye jeete hai,

Kya soche kal ki ey mere dost,
Har pal zindagi badalti hai,
Aur hum har pal ko jeete hai

Confession

Confession not always gets you rid of your guilts,
Sometimes it just changes it’s form.

Kya Kahu Tujhe

Khamoshiyo mein ek aawaz itni pyari lagi,
Humhe uski surat sabse nayari lagi,
Kya kahu tujhe khawab kahu to toot jayega,
Tera Naam dhadkan rakh deta hu,
Ab to tera saath iss zindagi ke saath hi choot payega

Hum Tum

Kuch Khawab the adhure,
Kuch Umange thi Jawan,
Kuch Bewafa hum tum the,
Kuch Zaalim tha yeh Jahan,
Kuch yaadein Tere Sang Beetien lamho ki saath rahati hai sada,
Kuch adhure hai Hum, Kuch adhure ho Tum vaha

Vo Dost Khaas Hai

Jin Lamho mein saath the dost,
Vo Lamhe khaas the,

Jin Raho mein saath the dost,
Vo Rahe Khaas thi,

Jin Mhafilo mein saath the dost,
Vo Mhafile khaas thi,

Jin mood par, Jin padaav par,
Jin manzil par, Jin mushkil mein,
Jo Saath the dost, Vo Dost Khaas hai